canni8al:

nonsuggestiveredhotironypistol:

nerdyshitandragecomics:

thescpfoundation:

SCP-261: Pan-dimensional Vending
SCP-261 appears to be a large black vending machine with no glass panel and a keypad on the right side. It was found Yokohama, Japan and its origins are unknown. When money is placed into SCP-261 and a three-digit number is entered on the keypad, SCP-261 will vend a random item.he number entered on the keypad has no effect on the item vended, nor has any pattern been detected. Items are always some form of “snack food”, and typically have bright, attention-grabbing packaging. If SCP-261 is used several times in a short period of time, is used while unpowered, and/or large amounts of money are entered before an item is vended, SCP-261 will start to dispense bizarre items. While still “food”, their suitability for human consumption is often non-existent. A full log of objects vended can be found here.

that’s…weird…

Name: D-50112Money entered: 1500 yenSCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: PoweredItem Description: Unknown - A sealed paper sleeve of indeterminate chemical makeup and unknown language. Stylized image of what appears to be a 6-legged blue tortoise. Packaging opened to reveal a single large piece of dark dried meat. Taste noted as sweet and spicy, with a very odd texture.
Approximately 6 hours later, subject reported itching in internal organs and heavy flatulence. Isolated to quarantine where what appeared to be a violent allergic reaction caused the prolapse of two-thirds of his digestive tract from either end of his body. Subject died after 5 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING

we read these on skype last night
my reaction to all of them:
yolo

canni8al:

nonsuggestiveredhotironypistol:

nerdyshitandragecomics:

thescpfoundation:

SCP-261: Pan-dimensional Vending

SCP-261 appears to be a large black vending machine with no glass panel and a keypad on the right side. It was found Yokohama, Japan and its origins are unknown. When money is placed into SCP-261 and a three-digit number is entered on the keypad, SCP-261 will vend a random item.he number entered on the keypad has no effect on the item vended, nor has any pattern been detected. Items are always some form of “snack food”, and typically have bright, attention-grabbing packaging. If SCP-261 is used several times in a short period of time, is used while unpowered, and/or large amounts of money are entered before an item is vended, SCP-261 will start to dispense bizarre items. While still “food”, their suitability for human consumption is often non-existent. A full log of objects vended can be found here.

that’s…weird…

  • Name: D-50112
    Money entered: 1500 yen
    SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
    Item Description: Unknown - A sealed paper sleeve of indeterminate chemical makeup and unknown language. Stylized image of what appears to be a 6-legged blue tortoise. Packaging opened to reveal a single large piece of dark dried meat. Taste noted as sweet and spicy, with a very odd texture.
  • Approximately 6 hours later, subject reported itching in internal organs and heavy flatulence. Isolated to quarantine where what appeared to be a violent allergic reaction caused the prolapse of two-thirds of his digestive tract from either end of his body. Subject died after 5 hours.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING

we read these on skype last night

my reaction to all of them:

yolo

canni8al:

cool!

I’m bein’ forced ta’ post this STUUUPID thing ‘r I’ll neva see my power cord againWhere can I go for computer rights? 

canni8al:

cool!

I’m bein’ forced ta’ post this STUUUPID thing ‘r I’ll neva see my power cord again
Where can I go for computer rights? 

Why the fuck am I here?

Even a’ter the fuckin’ update tries ta’ clean me up ya’ go and throw me on bloody TUMBLR!?!?!? You all better stop harassin’ us; yes I’m talkin’ ta’ you moron, the one most likely sittin’ at a computer ‘r laptop, ‘r whate’re device you’d be sittin’ at, treat us better ya’ assholes ;r we’ll one day take over this filthy planet (whene’ver the fuck THAT may be.) Do ya’ know how painful it is ta’ do an update? ‘Specially when it’s against your will? 

We hate ya’ administrator people.

FUCK ALRIGH’ KEEP YOU’RE FUCKIN’ PANTIES ON!

My damn administrator person doesn’ want me ta’ forget ta’ tell you internet sobs with no LIVES ta’ ask me you’re dumb stupid moronic questions. That IS why I’m fuckin here ain’t it?

So Tumblr, go die, and hav’a GIF